Before you ask, I am posting this at 2:00am during a school night because I slept all day. My sleep schedule is pretty bad, to say the least.
So! I haven’t been able to use my computer for creative endeavors as of late, not sure why. i am writing this and coding a new version of otter.men just to get my creative juices back on. I do have plenty of guesses as to why I feel like this tho:

1. burnout
I’ve STILL been trying to recover from general burnout due to a month straight of exhausting online summer classes that i had to take due to reasons completely out of my control. It was like a whole year of school packed into one or two months. These summer classes REALLY threw me off, it took me like at least a month to get back into the American Public School groove. at least I am a senior now, it was worth shaving another frustrating year of high school.

2. wasting too much time and bad attention span
sometimes i just don’t do anything at all that day. like, i just end up browsing rateyourmusic for hours then finish off the day on some stupid youtube videos. borderline neet behavior that i should not be exhibiting as someone who has been touted as a better-than-average student, but do anyways because… aspergers, i guess. it’s so hard for me to describe why i do the things i do, i just do things beyond human comprehension because i feel like it.
i’m not human perhaps…? [otter emoji] (meh just kidding//)
My awful time management skills have resulted in me doing things like, for a recent example, going to sleep at 4am on a school night because I end up procrastinating for the whole day instead of making up assignments i wasn’t able to counger up the motivation to finish until the late hours of that night. I don’t know how but I managed to run on two hours of sleep that whole day.

3. school?
this is a stupid blog post so far. i am typing this out and i see how stupid it is as this post slowly shapes itself with the keyboard tipper-tapping i’ve been doing with my fingers.
apparently school bankrupts creativity, according to some bloke online (i know that this is not what the word ‘bloke’ is used for, but i like using the term ‘some bloke’ for ‘a random person’ or whatever i’m going for here). i do not remember where or when i saw this (probably sometime during the year 2020 on twitter), nor do i know whether said ‘bloke’ is living a good life right now, free from academic obligations, or dead in a ditch somewhere in new york city, or detroit, or seattle (probably seattle).
i think people do genuinely struggle with the education system in america, that’s not exactly the case for me. just do your assignments and be there and you’ll be okay-ish as far as i know. maybe i just go to a really good school and thus my view of this stuff may be a bit one-sided in this case, idk exactly.

i think that’s enough rambling. i am kinda tired now. and hungry. i should go eat and then sleep for like 4 more hours.
the new website design looks cool so far, i’m trying to make it compatible with internet explorer, using floats ‘n shit for the layout (i am not a fan of ‘table’ layouts…) kinda like the old veekun site (not really but i was surprised about how developers worked with layouts before things like flexbox and grid). don’t get too hyped tho (why would you be in the first place) i think it’ll be a much simpler thing than what i’ve got rn
ok i am a bit more tired now cya later

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